I have seen so many myths and misrepresentations of what Attachment Parenting is recently, I felt the need to write about it. Put something out there that maybe will help some parent somewhere struggling to get their partner involved, finding childcare, struggling with discipline or boundaries, etc. I sat down to write and absolutely scrapped everything at least once. Ok, so why am I scrapping what I have written about something so important? Why did I hate everything I wrote?
Well before I start about Attachment Parenting, I need to say this because I realized it is why I hated everything. What I am about to say is my understanding of Attachment Parenting. It is not a judgement about anyone's parenting style or choices. We all execute Attachment Parenting differently, so it looks a little different for each family. Also, some families may not be "strict" attachment parents, while others may be almost fanatical. We each make decisions about what is best for our family, so absolutely no judgement.
When I started venturing out into the world of parenting groups, I had no idea what to expect. I had hoped to meet like-minded families, to share experiences, to learn, to grow, to meaningfully be accompanied on this shared journey of parenthood. Well, that is not what I found at all.
When I found out I was going to be a parent, I wasn't sure what my dad voice was going to be. Was I going to be a voice of reason, discipline, empathy, a combination? What really struck me was not that I needed to find my dad voice within my family, but that I needed it outside of my family. I think what was worse was the realization that I could lose it. Finding it again was even more of a challenge.
This is the story of the birth of my son and the events that followed. I understand that not everyone really cares or assumes that all birth stories are the same. Well, to some degree that is true. Birth stories are important to the individual family, but they really follow the same pattern: labor then birth then baby. Sometimes births don't go according to plan, sometimes there are complications, sometimes the baby isn't healthy. I guess that maybe those are the more interesting stories, but in a society where birth is less and less natural and more and more medicalized the interesting parts become less and less. Imagine, back in the 1920s having a C-section. That would be a big freaking deal! In 2018, not so much.
Anyways, the point is that I am going to tell our birth stories. Not because I think they are overly interesting, but rather because they are a key step in my Dad journey. I mean, without a birth story I wouldn't be a dad.
My decision to raise my children differently than I was raised was one I made at a very young age. It was a very simple and not well thought out plan - do the exact opposite of what my father did. Sounds simple right? Unfortunately, 15 year old me had absolutely no idea about parenting and what doing something different really meant.
This is the introductory post of The Attached Abba! I thought I would start with some basics about I ended up here, starting a dad-blog. I also want to take this space to talk about the direction that this blog will take, especially over the next few days. Since this blog is so new, the first days will be filled quickly with posts about the parenting up until this point, but then I will slow down on posting to maybe once a week. This is not some professional blog by a professional blogger, this is just a dad sitting at his computer typing the internal monologue in his head. It should read like I'm speaking to you, to make this a conversation.
That is really the main point, to have conversation. While this isn't a dads only blog, dads are absolutely my target audience. As I became more involved with what it means to be a parent in the digital age, I realized that places for dads are few and far between. I have found some communities and support with my dad icons, That Dad Mat and NaturallyDad, but I wanted something to call my own. I encourage comments, feedback, requests to guest-post, everything dad related. It is time that we make our dad voices heard, especially as dads are more than just the disciplinarian and bread winner.
I'm Matt a.k.a. The Attached Abba (Abba = Hebrew for Dad). This blog is detailing my journey in parenthood, and will hopefully provide a space for other dads to find support and insight.